Ryder (Fallen Brook High School YA Series) Read online

  At the thought of having a boyfriend, something heavy presses and squeezes my heart, like a hand’s crushing grip. The pressure is suddenly unbearable. I shut my eyes tight and see flashes of the colors silver gray and copper brown.

  “Hey. Elizabeth. Are you okay?” I feel a hand shake my shoulder. I blink.

  “Huh?”

  “You started staring off into space and breathing really weird. Are you having an asthma attack? Do you need me to get you anything?”

  Not again. Every time a memory tries to resurface and struggles to get out, I turn into a zombie. And just like every other episode I've had, nothing tangible comes from it. I’m still a blank slate of nothingness.

  Not wanting to explain myself to this guy — a guy I just met and don’t know — I brush off his concern. “Sorry. Low blood sugar. Forgot to eat breakfast,” I fib.

  “I can help with that. Come on. There has to be a vending machine somewhere inside, yeah? My treat.”

  I consider Trevor. He’s a great looking guy. He seems nice and he hasn’t done anything that would set off my internal alarm bells. What the heck. I need to start my new life at some point. Since I can’t remember my past, I’m determined to make a new future. It’s time I start living again.

  “Lead the way,” I tell him.

  Chapter 2

  And There She Was

  Ryder

  Julien strolls into the kitchen of my house like he lives here — which he and Jayson basically do. He takes a cold bottle of water from the fridge, twists the cap off, and guzzles the entire contents. He's drenched with sweat, which makes his shirt and shorts stick to his skin.

  I’m standing at the stove scrambling eggs to go with the bacon I just took off the burner. Julien grabs a piece of bacon and leans against the counter island.

  “Jay here yet?” he asks.

  “He's around here somewhere.”

  I divide the eggs onto three plates, then add bacon to each one. When I slide Julien’s plate over to him, he grabs it and shovels a fork full of food into his mouth. He’s usually starving by this time in the morning since he gets up at five to run ten miles, rain or shine. Julien does it to stay in shape for soccer. But he also runs because it gives him an escape, an outlet from his worries.

  My outlet is racing cars or dirt bikes. I need the rush of going fast to steady my thoughts and keep myself grounded. I usually go out to the Fields on the weekend to drive around the dirt track, meet up with my friend, Fallon, or race against other drivers. Jayson's outlet used to be swimming. Now he picks fights as a way to release his tension.

  We look over to see Jayson ambling into the kitchen. He falls onto the stool next to Julien and grabs the plate of food I left out for him.

  “You smell,” he tells Julien, then crumbles the strips of bacon on top of his eggs before taking a bite.

  I notice his swollen knuckles from a fistfight he was in yesterday with some guy from Highland High. I open the freezer to grab a bag of frozen peas and hand it to him. None of us have handled Elizabeth’s absence well. Two days after her car accident, she still hadn’t woken up from her coma. Her uncle, Daniel, was given emergency guardianship over her and had her transported by medevac to some unknown location shortly after the funeral for her parents. We haven't seen her in months. Every night I fall asleep with thoughts of only her. Every day I wake up to the same. To add the complete awfulness of it all, her sister, Hailey, took off and no one knows where she is either. The entire situation is a nightmare.

  What's even more infuriating is that Elizabeth’s uncle is like a ghost. Each day, we scour every online and social media resource we can think of to find Daniel or Elizabeth and come up with zilch. Nada. The fact that Elizabeth hasn't tried to contact us, terrifies me. Is she still in a coma? Did something bad happen to her? Is she still alive? Just thinking those morose thoughts twists my insides until I feel like I want to throw up.

  I tip back the rest of my coffee and rinse the cup out in the sink. I’ve started drinking coffee with two yellow packets of sweetener, the same way Elizabeth would make her coffee. I guess it's my small way of keeping her with me.

  Grabbing my keys and wallet off the counter, I tell the guys, “I’m out of here. I have to stop by the garage on the way to school to see Dad.”

  Jules taps the counter with his curled fist. “I need to head on home and take a quick shower. Thanks for breakfast. Jay, you coming with me or do you want to go with Ry?”

  Jay gets up and places the bag of peas back inside the freezer. "I'll head out with you," he tells Julien. “I can't believe it's the first day of our senior year and she's not here with us.”

  Julien and I don't say anything, letting silence be our reply. Having a sudden urge to get out of the house and away from Jayson's ruminations about Elizabeth, I rush out the front door to my car. Jay and Jules will lock up the house for me since they have a key.

  Every time I look at my Challenger, I remember the first day I took Elizabeth for a drive in it. She came out of the library and basically drooled all over it, saying she was going to marry my car. She named it Stella. I laugh at the memory. God, that was a good day. I can picture Elizabeth sitting next to me in the passenger seat, her long flaxen hair flying around her face from the wind through the window. Her squeals of joy and excitement when I raced around the track at the Fields. I remember the fragrance she used to wear. She always smelled of jasmine and sunshine. I miss her so much.

  Taking a deep breath to stave off the sadness — knowing it will overtake me if I allow it to — I turn the ignition and back out of the driveway.

  After stopping off and seeing Dad, I arrive at school and park my car in the senior lot. The small campus is already full of students loitering around, talking excitedly, and catching up after a long summer break. I wish I felt their excitement.

  It’s the last week of August. The trailing heat of the end days of summer is bearing down, hot and sticky. The mingled smell of dirt, freshly mown grass, and honeysuckle vines is pungent in the air. The early morning sun is out, and puffy white cumulus clouds dot the sky. It’s a gorgeous day. Unfortunately, I’m not in the mood to enjoy it.

  “Hey, man. I’ve been calling your name. Where’s your head at?”

  Fallon jogs up to me. Fallon is a year older than me and graduated from Highland High, our rival school, in June. I hadn't seen him all summer because he spent it sailing along the Intercoastal Waterway on his family's yacht. He sent me a text yesterday to let me know he was back in town.

  “Surprised you’re awake,” — I look at my watch, noting it's half past seven — “before noon.”

  He throws an arm around me. “Wanted to see my boy off for his first day of his last year at school.”

  I shove him off me, and he playfully punches me in the arm. “Thanks, Dad, but I think I'm old enough now not to need an escort to class. Shouldn't you be at college or something?”

  “I told you I was deferring a year, right?” I shake my head. “Oh, well, there you go then. Now you know.”

  “Resting on your laurels?”

  “Nah, starting next week, my dad is making me work an internship with him at Montgomery Pharma. Said it would be good for me.”

  Fallon really doesn't have to work at all if he doesn't want to. His grandfather set up a trust fund for him when he was born, and since he turned eighteen last year, he's had full access to it. Honestly, I'm a bit surprised that he isn't jet-setting all over the world, spending time on white sand beaches, and partying at night clubs. His family and his trust fund guarantee that he won't have to work a single day in his life. His family has more money than Midas had gold.

  “I bought a new car," he informs me, as I grab my bag from the backseat of my car.

  “Of course you did.”

  He doesn't skip a beat as he continues, "And I want you to test her out on the track to see what she can do. You in?”

  I think this is Fallon’s third new car this year alone. I can’t complain much
seeing as I’m the lucky guy he asks to drive them out at the Fields. Why he doesn’t do it himself remains a mystery to me.

  “What car did you buy?”

  Fallon pops a stick of gum in his mouth. “A Radical RXC.”

  “And you want me to drive it in the dirt? Are you insane? I’m in.” Fallon snorts out a laugh and it has me grinning. “When?”

  “This weekend good?”

  “Yeah. Let me know a time and I’ll be there.”

  Jayson and Julien haven't arrived yet, so Fallon and I make our way into the building, even though he’s already graduated and doesn’t go to our school. I navigate down the hall and round the corner to where the senior lockers are located. Fallon spots a group of girls and veers away to chat them up.

  As soon as I round the bend, the hairs on my skin stand up at the sound of familiar laughter. I hear the sound again, and my body follows it like I’m a fish caught on a fisherman’s line. I’m being reeled in, and there’s nothing I can do to escape its pull.

  I see a guy I don't know up ahead, but that is not what's causing me to break out in a cold sweat. The closer I get, the more my heart begins to pound out of my chest, and a sick feeling swirls in my gut. I feel like I'm about to pass out or explode into a million jagged pieces; my body can’t decide which. My vision blurs and I use the back of my hands to wipe at them. My legs have stopped moving but I feel like I’m flying. It’s a strange sensation. I blink a few times to clear my vision. Each blink is like the click of a camera shutter. My brain catalogs each blink, each click, storing every image away. My ears record every hum, every noise. I swallow thickly because my mouth has gone bone dry.

  My gaze is frozen. Unmoving. Locked onto the person standing in front of me with her back turned. Is she even real?

  “Elizabeth?” I manage to say.

  As if in slow motion, she turns around. Sage green eyes, pale blond hair tipped with rosy pink, full lips, the most beautiful face I have ever seen. A face that has haunted my dreams for months. A face that I have loved for most of my life. She’s here.

  “Yes?” Her stunning verdant eyes scrutinize me like she’s meeting me for the first time. She’s here. Jesus. How could we not know she’s here?

  “Elizabeth, you’re here. How in the hell are you here?”

  She looks at me like my question is a jumble of confusing words that she can’t understand. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

  What?

  “Baby, it’s me. Ryder.” My hands are shaking with a desire to snatch her into my arms and never let go, but something’s wrong. Something’s not right. Her eyes travel over my body and back up to my face.

  “Do you know Elizabeth?” the guy next to her asks me, clearly confused about how I am reacting.

  I ignore him. All of my attention is focused on Elizabeth. “Where have you been the past three months? Why didn’t you contact us?” My voice rises in frustration because she’s acting like I’m a stranger.

  “Elizabeth, do you know this guy?” the other guy asks her again.

  She clutches at her chest which is rapidly moving in and out. “I...I don’t know.”

  “What do you mean you don’t know? Of course you know me. We’ve known each other since we were nine years old.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispers up at me, her eyes wide and panicked. “I don’t remember.”

  “Elizabeth, what is going on?” This time I do reach for her and she stumbles back into the guy beside her.

  “Elizabeth?” Fallon says, rushing up behind me. I completely forgot he was here. Hearing her name spoken once again, Elizabeth turns in the direction of Fallon.

  “I’m sorry,” she cries, stepping back. “I can’t do this.” Frantically clawing at the strap of her backpack, she takes off down the hall toward the exit.

  “Elizabeth!” I shout after her, causing several students in the hall to glare at me. I can’t let her leave. I have to stop her. Before I’m able to make two running steps to chase her down, I'm shoved back — hard.

  “I don’t think so, man,” the new guy says.

  “Move," I warn him.

  “Not moving. She’s clearly afraid of you.”

  I try to push my way past, and again he stops me. I've had enough. I raise my fist, prepared to knock him out so I can go after Elizabeth, but Fallon jumps in and holds my arm in a death grip.

  “Stop, Ry.”

  I yank my arm down and whirl on Fallon, fury and rage now directed at him. “Don’t try to stop me, Fallon. That was Elizabeth. My Elizabeth! We haven't seen her in months! And she’s here.”

  “Yes, and clearly she doesn’t want to talk to you,” Fallon replies.

  “She acted like she doesn’t know me!” I scream back at him.

  Two teachers poke their heads outside their classrooms, looking up and down the hall to see what's going on.

  Fallon lowers his voice. “Not here, Ry. Let’s go, man. Come on.”

  He leads me quickly to the back exit, the new guy following behind us. I'm scanning the grounds, the parking lot, the sidewalks. No sign of Elizabeth anywhere. It's as if she was a figment of my imagination. We pass the gate to the football field and Fallon pushes me toward the bleachers.

  “I don’t understand, Fallon. How could we not know she was here? Where has she been all this time?”

  Fallon jumps on top of the bleachers and looks down at the new guy. “Since Ryder doesn't know who you are, you must be new. What's your name?”

  “Trevor. You?”

  “Fallon.”

  “Alright, Fallon. I'm clearly missing something. What did he mean when he said that girl has been missing for months? Was she kidnapped or something?”

  “Why are you asking me? Ask him. He's standing right there.”

  “How do you know Elizabeth?” I demand, looking around again to see if I can see her. Fallon must sense that I'm getting antsy and about to bolt, so he jumps down from the bleachers and lands between me and Trevor.

  “Dude, I just met her like thirty minutes ago.”

  My attention flits back to Trevor. “Keep talking.”

  “I don’t think so. Look, I’m obviously missing something.”

  Fallon crosses his arms and cocks his head, a picture of pure relaxation and ease. Only his voice and eyes say different. “What you’re going to do is answer his question.” Fallon’s tone makes it clear he’s not asking, he’s telling.

  Trevor’s face reddens, and I wait impatiently for him to get on with it. After a lengthy stare-down with Fallon, he says, “I saw her in the parking lot. I mean, she’s totally hot, so yeah.”

  I glare at him.

  “Yeah, so, anyway, she was standing next to her car. The car is what caught my attention at first before I saw her. I chatted her up. We came inside. That’s about it. Honest. Can I go now?”

  “Did she say anything else?”

  “Um, she bought her car in Durham. That’s all, I swear.”

  “Give me your phone,” Fallon tells him, motioning with his hand for Trevor to hand it over immediately. Trevor enters his password and reluctantly hands his phone to Fallon. Fallon sends himself a text and gives it back. “I’ve got your number now, and you’ve got mine. You see that girl again, no matter where or when, you contact me, yeah?”

  “Yeah, I got it. Can I go now?”

  Fallon nods and Trevor shoulder bumps him as he passes. I feel bad for the new guy. He doesn't know Fallon's reputation. Trevor doesn't realize it yet, but that shoulder-check just painted a target on his back.

  “So what are you going to do now?” Fallon asks me.

  “I need to find Elizabeth.”

  “What about Jay and Jules?”

  Crap. Jayson’s going to lose his mind. Julien too. I exhale roughly and get out my phone to dial Jay’s number. He answers on the first ring.

  “Hey, we just got here. Where are you?”

  “Jay, shut up and listen.”

  “What's going on?”

  “Is Julien
with you?”

  “Yeah, he’s right here. Why?”

  “Are you some place private?”

  “We’re in the parking lot.”

  “Put me on speaker so Julien can hear.”

  “I’m here,” I hear Julien say.

  “I’m with Fallon out at the bleachers. Elizabeth was here at school. She was right here. Right in front of me.”

  I can hear Jayson suck in a lung full of air. “Where are you?” he says urgently. “We’re coming now. Keep her there and don’t let her leave.”

  “She’s gone. She ran off.”

  Over the phone, Jayson’s temper explodes.

  Chapter 3

  Only in My Dreams

  Elizabeth

  Images and scenes fast forward behind my eyes, all jumbled and skipping from one to another.

  “Your turn.”

  Golden amber eyes glow bright.

  “I’m sorry, what now?”

  “Your turn.”

  “No, Ryder! I can’t!”

  “Yes, you can.”

  “Are you crazy? I’ll probably drive it off into a tree!”

  “No, you won’t.”

  “Yes, I will.”

  “Elizabeth, get into the driver’s seat.”

  “Nuh uh. Nope. No way. You can’t make me.”

  Strong hands lift me up and a feeling of pure joy and excitement overtakes me.

  …

  “Will you stay with me? Or just hold me until I fall asleep?”

  “My beautiful Elizabeth. I would do anything for you.”

  “Would you rather be rich and feel somewhat content, or poor and be extremely happy?”

  “That’s easy. I’d rather be poor and happy.”